Just wanted to talk a bit about never.html (no real title since it doesn't have any need for one.) It's a net art monolith comprised of roughly equal parts garbled text written when I was 13/14 so dense in personal references that it returns to meaningless noise, freeform poetry written more recently, other creative writing, found text from a plethora of sources, and various other debris from my life.

It's intended as a tightly nested gathering of digital ephemera, collected bits of poetry alternating with walls of archival noise.



This section here is copy-pasted from my high school's computer system when I was messing around in command prompt. I seriously doubt it's anything sensitive, and seems to be commands used for the server itself. I didn't try any, but what little probing I did back then did not exactly reassure me that they had very good security, so chances are that if I tried running any of these back then it would've just done it.



I used to save every interesting snippet of conversation heard in class, concept I had, typo I made, and internet comment I found in sprawling documents because I knew that if I didn't I would never see them again, just lost back in the sea of potential memetic combinations. This "chat log" section draws from these documents. Never.html basically contains every single scrap of text I have written or saved in the last 8 years that I considered shareable online.

Some select phrases and attempted decipherings (most more recent):

"garden wall of sleep" = combining quaint concept with Lovecraft short story title.
"two doves fly ever onwards" = alleged sleeper agent activation phrase found online somewhere years ago. The only google search result is now my site; origin unknown and presumably deleted.
"the moon will follow you home" = something I thought about a lot as a kid when being driven home late at night from my grandfathers.
"what an interesting choice you have made" = Post on r/ambien of someone who took a trip's worth before going on a flight.
"Sometimes I feel like the prequel to a horrible person" = quote from I-Be Area.
"do you think I might be fool enough to run away from heaven if I get there?" = from outsider artist and protector of children Henry Darger.
"assassins on the world-scale board game upon which it isn't clear who is winning or what side you are on" = from an interview about military-themed techno project Vatican Shadow.
"cultural terrorist is involved in an act of revolutionary suicide" = from Grey Wolves (80s power electronics group) manifesto. Sometimes to amuse myself I edit their terrorist-y logo over furry art of cute wolf guys and badly xerox it.
"the capacity for wisdom has been blasted out the back of a holographic JFK skull and the metal gear solid bad ending" = from surreal YouTube channel Fun Church, feauting Gibby from iCarly (seriously) and a theme song by School Shooter. The original source for this quote has since been deleted, as has the secondary source I copied it from.
"looking about at the sky as if he was thinking" = Quote from a cat postcard set I have, originally from here.
"comfort static" = Topic discussed in my computer science class about how static is artificially added to some phone lines because pure silence would be offputting. Very little information online.
"IS IS SAHIL!BEEP BEEP ALO THIS IS SAHIL" = this whole section is taken from a middle school Google Docs chat log with some friends.
"The old ones? They wonder about like in a day dream." = From Aeschylus's Agamemnon (458 BC.)
"the star shall gorge itself on clay" = Part of an /x/ post (IIRC,) apparently listing highly vague and enigmatic predictions for the future.
"Welcome back in the morning" = This whole section is a google translate garbled text, origin unknown and by now lost.
"you need not dig a grave, my guilt will swallow me whole." = From Catghost, an animated ARG-adjacent spooky game thing from 2017.
"7.79 miles, 1500 sit ups" = Daily exercise log. The situps were at 4 A.M. I can't tell if this level of self-control is good for me or not.
"Exploration of underground ruins (focus on knowledge and lore instead of combat)" = Idea for solo RPG project, later developed into this document.
"Truxton is 5'7" and weighs 155 lbs." = Calculating BMIs of every Lapfox alias with sufficient information available.
"fūr // thief - fūrtum // theft - inīquitās" = Latin vocabulary.
"they can cleverly piece together voices and sounds they've heard to communicate" = description of the Kenku species from AD&D and also a very apt description of what I do.
"ancient coyote cult… venerating the fluffy yippers…" = Some 4chan posting about graffiti they found.
"land of a thousand lakes" = Minnesota, where my friend Eir now lives. Miss you.
"wheel broken at the cistern" = Ecclesiastes 12:6-13
"tumblewave & meltwater" = Two invented genre names, one being country/western vaporwave (actually kinda exists,) no idea what meltwater is supposed to sound like.