Several spoken word collages put together long enough ago that I'm confident that the project they were imagined
as a part of will never come to pass, so here they are in all their mediocrity since nothing will otherwise come
of them. I really don't have a voice I can take seriously or use in music.
october cold before dawn, a shadow in the fog
i didn't notice it
watches me drive home from work, hides behind the trees
sends autumn leaves skittering across the sidewalk
no one's there
wrapped in a blanket in my room
the light that never goes out flickers off
curls itself around me as i try to sleep
sinking into a soft black darkness again
i'm gone in the morning
pumpkin rotting on the porch, small teeth are scattered; no one's home
afternoon wind rushes leaves on the ground, hawk takes flight in the trees, smell of wood and mildew; no one's home
deer prints leading through the woods behind the house, empty cages; kiln, covered in wet leaves, paths through the underbrush
empty home; empty home; empty home
and today i will pass out on the floor of my bedroom again
and tonight i will watch the moths under the leaves in the woods behind your old house
i like to pretend that you still live there sometimes
there's a presence in my room and it keeps me company on cold days
i wander down paths behind the old church in hopes that something happens and i never make it back
i don't want to die but when i have to i want to be eaten by wild animals
i want nothing left
all i've ever wanted to be is a cold case with no one left to care about it
and today when i lay face down in bed
passed out on my floor again with visions of antlers and bones skittering through my head like television static
i don't want autumn to end ever again
i don't want autumn to end