Written 2019-2020, ages 15-16
All untitled
when the soul eater comes for me, i won't be denying anything
a feather to the sky is all in my wake
do or don't just look back down for my sake
when the linkrot comes for me, i won't be scrambling to get away
the answer's already clear at this point
who cares
death the second, birth the third
it's for the worst
who cares
we're sparks we're gone we're eaten
failed the scales
and the angels will come 《 nibiru 2012 》 you saw the lights
so long as we're here
and so long as we're lonely
grey clouds freeze and fall
start small get smaller
keyboard covered in moss
☆☆☆climb the cell phone tower and see the lights through the coverup☆☆☆
skin and bones
lying touchtones
the fae folk took us
who cares who cares
the moon will follow you home anyway
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glimpse over the edge
suns below and stars around it like a halo
wisps of clouds hesitant to even exist
look up and see the moon broken, bleeding, a dying cell
light spreading in a web across the heavens
i'm falling backwards and that's okay
i feel my heart beating for the first time in weeks
the electricity turning back on on a darkened city
but no one's home
stared into the static too long, i guess
what does it matter now?
is this is what you would want to me to do?
is this is what you would want to me to say?
i'm just glad you're happy wherever you are
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endless words skittering
hawk at night sky
artificial dna synthesis
urban buildings like black mirrors
hand pressed up against the backside of the screen
pixelated and compressed
data storage
server hum wolf howls
last login never
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you see it coming closer to your life
its in your dreams its in your lungs its in your skin
you see its eyes echo out into the night (they look like cat eyes)
i'm the internet friend you haven't talked to in ages
a spam call you get and there's just silence on the other side
theres a third floor in this building and you know it
you can't see it from the outside but its here and i
want you to come in it and meet me face to face for the first time
eye to eye not key to key but i can tell that your scared
theres tears of sweat all in your hair
but i don't care, it's ok, you'll understand when you see me
for the first time not the last time and you have an unread message
you see it coming closer it's your life
and its your dreams and it's your lungs your skin is soft
you see my eyes echo out into the night (they look like cameras)
i'm the internet friend you haven't talked to in ages
a spam call you get and there's just silence on the other side
theres a third floor in this building and you know it
you can't see it from the outside but its here and i
want you to come in it and meet me face to face
5 8 y 7 8 d
hikikomori
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hyperdeath drifts right by
to the sky amen ra
failed the scales see you there
corner eye streetside cairo
google maps understood?
ascii summon twenty twelve
fell asleep (sleepless dream)
see the streetlights
stand beneath
hand reaches out
accounts long dead usenet confusion
forgotten bots dragons tired beyond words
trying to hold something together as it shakes itself apart
broken links incomplete archives jpeg artifacts
who are you? halloween unknown
npcs broken servers it's lonely here
miss u soulseek rooms .net
honest mistakes mp3.com txt collections
we wish you no harm
internet friends years ago last online
a kind of hollow feeling a kind of hollow feeling a kind of hollow feeling
i should have been a pair of ragged claws
scuttling across the floors of silent seas
lights i see you beneath
streetlights in the middle of the night
middle of nowhere anonomyous buildings
in nameless places like darkened screens
walking liminal i love you
chill wind though our hair i reach out
and my hand closes on void
i stand alone on an empty overpass
and feel your hand in mine
==============================
sleep 20 hours a day
curled up by the fireplace
it won't stop raining
it won't stop raining
i'll never go outside
i'll hide in the bedroom
i think i'll haunt this place
i think i'll haunt this place
the moss is growing
over the windows
but i'll be okay
but i'll be okay
can't see thru the mist
sleep 20 hours a day
i think i'll haunt this place
i think i'll haunt this place
cat skull
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i don't see what else there is left to do
beneath the gentle hug of a collapsing sky
stars are all the more beautiful before they burn out
feeling okay forever
a hollow static feeling in the mirror
it’s raining again
see you sometime, i guess
自己憎悪
==============================
Saturday, July 11, 2020, 10:40:58 AM
a vast, cool, and dark place, somewhat like a garden, somewhat like moss, somewhat like a maze, covered in fog,
a dusk that never falls into night and a dawn that never falls into day, a sleepy eternal place
Snow falling through parting mists
A distant house atop a hill
Can barely see it in the dark
I'm gonna die here
I must say it's been getting cold out, wouldn't you?
==============================
i didn't know there were so many world inside ur head
living and decaying and spiralling downwards
until all that's left is a vague frustration
and you don't even know who it's about
i can't tell if i was too much or too little
but something went wrong somewhere and i guess that happens
either way you died in my dreams
and i still feel kinda bad about that honestly
sounds of the rain outside as we fall asleep together
i wait for you to come online but you never do
it's best if you just forget about me, okay?
==============================
For we are the baseboard and the floormat
the quiet implied "No, thank you"
the silent brewing neutrality
half full of apathy
An empty room in a home
A life lived alone
An abandoned server humming away
Our night won't give to the dawn of day
For the night is cold and calm
For the dark is quiet and still
For the birds are not awoken
And the mushrooms rise unimpeded
and decay gives way to hollow things
and hollow things sway wordlessly
and nothing is said for there is nothing to say
and nothing is done for there is nothing to do
And it is beautiful for there is no one to break the
is eternal for no sun disturbs the fog
is meaningless for what use is meaning with no eye to concieve
with no mouth to express
with no hands to appropriate and harvest
no use to see or eat
naught but haunt
(and haunted it is)
By the ghosts of the dead accounts
By words they shall not say
The stillness is sacred lest they breach the fog
And the silence is a comfort and why do such a thing?
is early morning rain
is the glow of a computer screen
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wings unfurl as all that's left is collapse emminent
starflight spirals forever and ever past hollow blazes of glory hindsight fading
nothing left